Self-axis and others’ axis (2)

self-oriented and others-oriented② ‣心:Heart

What will people think of me?” becomes the basic axis of the foundation, various actions will be in line with other people’s actions.

I think there are many people who think it is easy for some people to conform to others.

This is because by conforming to others, I do not have to make judgments or decisions, and I do not have to take responsibility for them.

Also, the less you make decisions and judgments, the less responsibility you take on, and the less you are hurt, so you are more likely to match others extraordinarily.

But is it really easy to conform to others?

In fact, a surprisingly large number of people are unaware that “conforming to others = putting up with oneself”.

Because small patience is difficult to notice, people’s brains (thinking) mistakenly believe that it is easy.

But the feeling of holding back does not disappear; it accumulates in the mind like layers.

And when the layers of the mind cross the breaking point, they lose their temper in situations they don’t think they can handle, and one day it becomes hard.

But since I don’t know myself, I don’t know “why I am the way I am.” I don’t know why I am the way I am.

As a result, we keep doing the same thing over and over again, and more and more we lose sight of “What do I want to do?” and you lose sight of what you want to do.

I have written about this condition before, but I describe it to my clients as a state of wearing many clothes.

He said he was stuck wearing too many different outfits to fit in with others.

It is fine if the costume you are wearing is the one you wanted to wear, but most of the time you are stuck in a situation where you are wearing a costume that the others like as a result of conforming to the surroundings.

However, since they believe that “conforming to others = easy,” most people think something is wrong but do not know what is causing it and are unaware of it.